Charmayne 1, Cancer 0.

At the insistence of all of you to rest, it has taken a moment for me to finish this blog about Thursday's surgery experience that I started writing on Saturday.  The great news is that I have upgraded to being able to use both hands!  I'm being cautious and careful with its use so no hate mail!!!

To bring you up to speed since my last post, on Wednesday around 4:30pm I had a mild meltdown at Kaiser when the ATM pin pad was broken and the medical secretary initially wouldn't release my medical records.  As you can imagine, I was a wreck but even more so considering their office closed at 4:45pm and I has just spent the last six hours at Kaiser.  I felt my face getting hot and me getting ready to unleash my helplessness and frustration on the unsuspecting secretary so I left the office empty handed.  I didn't have time to blog about it Wednesday because I was running out to Walnut Creek to meet a friend for dinner, but I was pretty upset.  I used a lifeline and phoned a friend and he convinced me to go back inside and speak with her.  I attempted to be calm and explained to her that I requested my records on February 27th and it was imperative I had them prior to my impending 7:00am surgery.  I had left a message with a supervisor on the Monday before surgery asking for them after being told that their copy person had been out for several days.  That excuse was unacceptable.  I also told the clerk it wasn't my fault that they were just ready the day before.  In the end, she allowed me to pay her a partial payment for my files with me giving her all of the cash I had on hand with the promise someone would pay the remaining $10 on surgery day.  Small crisis averted, but nevertheless it had been another moment I would have preferred to avoid.  After Kaiser I had my "last supper" at The Cheesecake Factory in Walnut Creek, with my girlfriend of 17 years.  After dinner, I washed my bed linens and took a much needed Valium prescribed by my surgeon earlier in the afternoon.  I was in bed around 1:00am and up around 6:00am.

Thursday, March 19, 2009 started like most others. There was a twinge of anxiety, wrapped in my not knowing what the other two lumps would be after having the biopsy the day before.  Yet, amidst all of that I wasn't nervous about the day.  My mom drove me over to Kaiser where we already had about 5 family friends gathered around 7:00 for support.  I was injected in radiology with a radioactive marker that makes it easier to detect my lymph nodes.  I was given a warm blanket and then returned to the surgical center to check-in and await my turn.  When called up, I was given my medical bracelet, asked to sign the privacy forms and most importantly pay my co-pay.  Now, in the system they showed that my surgeon had me scheduled to stay overninght which equated into a $200 co-pay instead of the $100 copay for the out patient surgical procedure that I was expecting.  I nearly had a John Q moment in regards to health care but will save that for another thread entirely.  I paid the copay instead of raising to much of a fuss and was told it is something I can get my money back if I didn't end up being checked into the hospital.

No more than maybe 15-20 minutes later, I was forced to relinquish my valuables including my CrackBery and called back to change into the most unflattering attire ever made!  While in the back I asked if I could have locker number 5 to store my things as it usually is one of my lucky numbers.. The attendant obliged and I stored all of my clothes there while changing into two blueish green gowns, two hospital socks and a blue cap.  I went from having the most fabulous hair in the room to being frumpy and plain.  I was walked down the corridor to the pre-surgery room where there were at least 20 beds some filled and some empty.  For whatever reason, Kaiser continued to have trouble with my last name! They said they weren't sure if my maiden or married was right.  To make it easier I advised them to just call me by my first name and forgo the formalities.  As in the locker room, bed five was empty and I asked for it.  Like before, it was fine with them and I settled in to my bed.  I had no idea if I would be there for a long or short time.  It was around 9:00 and at least an hour until I could expect to hear any news from my doctor on the eagerly anticipated pathology report.  During this time, my EKG pads were placed, IV hooked up, blood drawn and calming medicine injected all preparing me for surgery in case it was a green light.  Being stripped of my Blackberry and only having a magazine, I chose to allow myself to sleep to pass the time.  Shortly after 10:00 I awoke when they allowed my mom to come back and visit with me.  The rest of things from that point moved fairly quickly for me as it did for most of you!  Around 10:30 a scrub nurse was on the phone in front of me and speaking with my surgeon and hangs up to tell me the great news that the results are benign and we are moving forward with the surgery.  Of course I was elated and breathed the first deep and full breath I had breathed in the last 48 hours since finding out of the other potentially harmful lumps.   When I asked if I was still on for 2:00 she said no, that there had been a cancellation and I would be going in for surgery shortly.  Knowing that everyone in Charm's Cancer Crew was just as anxious as I, I made my one phone call to the outside world on Kaiser's phone to Jenn who quickly got out the "Green light" blog and alerted all of you to the great news.  My mom and my aunt and uncle disappeared and I don't even really remember seeing them go! By then, the adrenaline and excitement of finally having surgery took over.  The nurse that kept checking on me was nice and pleasant and within 15 minutes they were unhooking me from the wall and wheeling me to the left corridor.  About this time I was already hearing the ER theme music in my head and looking for my own Dr. Benton!! 

Yes, I am an avid ER watcher and interestingly enough, had watched the episode the week before my surgery featuring Dr.Benton's return along with Nurse Hathaway and Dr. Ross.  During the episode, Dr. Benton sits in on the surgery for Carter's transplant and prior to proceeding, he asks if the "checklist" has been completed.  The surgeon performing the surgery reminds Benton he is merely observing and does not want to perform it. However, the rest of the OR staff obliged and begin with introducing themselves and checking for key items they may need during surgery.  The execution of the checklist in that surgery potentially saved Carter's life when a key fluid was on hand which wasn't initially.  So when I am wheeled into the OR, I was pumped to say the least!  The first thing I did when I saw the two new scrub nurses and techs was ask about the "checklist"!  They were wondering how I knew about it and laughing!  I shared with them my love of ER and Grey's Anatomy.  The friendly nurse from before said that ER is why she chose to go into the profession.  We had small talk and everyone kept remarking on my positive attitude especially when I thanked them for helping me Kick Cancer's Ass.  After about four deep breaths of the oxygen/gas it was "lights out".  

According to those patiently waiting for me on the outside, my surgery began around 10:45 PST and by 1:05 PST the hospital pager was vibrating alerting them that I was out of surgery and in the recovery room.  I remember coming to in the post-op wing and things being beyond hazy.  I remember them attempting me to drink which I kept refusing with good reason.  I eventually acquiesced and sipped water which I immediately expelled from my stomach.  I reminded them of my tolerance to anesthesia and more anti-nausea meds were quickly pumped into my IV.  My surgeon came over and told me that everything went well and my lymph nodes were clear.  I asked her my stage and she said one. I asked her to repeat it just so I knew that I heard her correctly. My tumor and cancer was only at a Stage 1.  She told me to take it easy and at my insistence if I still felt up to it, I was free to go home once more of the anesthesia wore off.  Since my party was dining in the cafeteria and not there when I came to, I was lucky that the founder of my local breast cancer support group had missed them and was in the waiting room when my name was called.  She sat with me as I fought off the drugs and was there as the charge nurse offered me juice and graham crackers.  After keeping both of those items down, I was even more ready to get dressed and roll out the hospital!  She helped me dress carefully as the gauze wrapped from my underarm to my left breast and included the biopsied site from the day before.  By the time my friends and family came to get me I was dressed and while in a haze, I was positively relieved.  The rest of Thursday and the days to follow have been surrounded with love, laughter and light.  I have the most amazing circle of anyone I know.  Each day even approaching five days after surgery, more flowers, cards, gifts, food and visitors arrive.  It is positively wonderful and although the crackberry is back in my warm hands, I am exercising much restraint!  I email when I can but I don't feel obligated to reply or even answer every single call or text.  My throat is still sore from the breathing tube and I am feeling better, but my medicine also makes me sleepy and I have been turning my phone off if I feel a nap coming on. To be honest, I feel well, just sore.  My left underarm is still numb from the removal of several lymph nodes but my breast incision doesn't hurt nearly as much and only throbs occasionally.  I've removed the gauze and showered several times and trust my surgeon will advise me it is healing well when I see her in a few days.  I keep ice on the area and maybe take pain pills once or twice a day instead of every four hours as directed.

My cancer journey is far from over.  I'm pleased to say that I am confident I have won the battle although the war isn't over.  A few of you have asked where I go from here.  This Thursday, I will meet with my surgeon to make sure that my margins around the tumor are clear and no potentially cancerous tissues remain.  If they aren't clear then another surgery to clean them up will be scheduled.  If they are clear then I will be assigned my oncologist and begin the conversation on treatment.  So I am still not 100% sure if chemo is a possibility.  Like everything thus far, I will keep you all posted as things progress with my personal treatment plan.  However, being stage 1 and having clear lymph nodes is an AMAZINGLY lucky thing and wonderful sign.  So as far as the battle goes here's the score: Charmayne 1, Cancer 0.  Continue to keep me in your hearts, prayers and minds as the days continue.  I am thankful for all of the emails and love rendered thus far.  It is truly helping me to make this journey easier!  As you can see it is "late" and I am going to change my ice packs and turn in.  

Until next type, all I can say is thank you and carpe diem!!